All About Nothing: The Story Of My Life Essay -- essays research paper

All About Nothing: The Story of My Life   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Perhaps the most important thing that has happened in my life is the fact that nothing really big or important has ever happened in my life. For example, my parents are still happily married, and nobody really close to me has evr died. All of this is very unfortunate, I am sure, because if one of these things had happened I would have been able to find a topic for this very essay which I am writing very easily, and would not have had such a hard time getting this essay in to my teacher on time. Nor have I rescued a little kitten from a tree, which when I think about it is really unfortunate because then not only would I have had a topic, but I might also have gotten my picture in the â€Å" Hillsborough Beacon,† or even in the â€Å"Somerset Messenger Gazette,† which, in the lingo of those in the news paper business, is the ‘big time.' But there is little point in even mentioning these things, because they have not happened, and thus, I am left topicless. I could try to fool you with some far out, totally unbelievable story about how I was in a car wreck involving at least two dozen cars, including the president's limousine, and how despite having broken two legs, an arm, in addition to various other body parts too numerous to mention, I managed to drag myself out of the wrecked car (A job for the Jaws of Life, for sure, had it been any other person but me in that car), and then how I managed to haul all of the other survivors, among them the president himself, out of their cars, and to safety, only moments before a small fire that was caused by the crash reached the gas tank of one of the cars causing a breath- taking chain reaction of explosions and fires seen and heard for miles around I could...but I will not. In fact, I would not have it any other way.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  If a highly important meaningful event had happened in my life, the chances are that I would be a completely different person today than the Bill that I am sure you know and love, and probably even worship. It could for example have made me realize how important a proper education is (Do not ask me how.). And, because of this, I could be a diligent hard working student. Thankfully, it didn't and I am not, but the point is, it could have. A scary thought indeed. My parents aren't divorced and do not abuse me, givin... ...ng him of his great failures, even if they are trying to be nice abouit it, although a great many most likely ae not, and can probably get downright mean. Even if he had won those Super Bowls his life would still be a wreck. Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw, the only quarterbacks ever to win as many Super Bowls as Kelly has lost, still can not go out in public without being mobbed by fans, even though both have long since retired. And although it was most likely fun and exciting to begin with (I find excitement to be much over rated any way.), the novelty of celebrity has most certianly worn off by now, and not being able even to go to the supermarket has most likely turned in to a large pain in the neck. So, as I feel I have just proved, exiting and important events bring nothing good no matter how extremely good or bad they seem to be. This is why I enjoy my average uneventful life. However, as a personal note, if the good and kind reader of this essay would extend the deadline a few years, I could give her a really good reflective essay about the feelings that I have for the people who I have literally and figuratively crushed on my way to power as the Supreme Ruler of the World.